The 3 People That Stand In Your Way Of Business Success (and How To Push Them Aside)

For every person that can help you on your way to business (and personal) success, there are many more that can do just the opposite – serve as big barriers that make the task that much more challenging.

There are three people in particular that you need to be wary of, because you WILL encounter them along the way.  One you will see EVERY DAY.

How can we move these barriers aside, and reach strongly towards our dreams?

Let’s start with Person #1.

The Naysayer

“You can’t do that!”  “Are you out of your mind!”  “No way”   The Naysayer lives in a bizarro world where nothing gets done, every idea is silly or stupid, and resentment and jealousy are written on their sleeves.    I discovered the secret to marginalizing these folks about 25 years ago – at the urging of my first boss, Ieliminated the word “CAN’T” from my vocabulary.  Banished it. Cast it off.   Once that’s done, an amazing thing happens – you can’t HEAR it on the outside either.  It no longer registers – it’s just there.   So when I encounter the Naysayer now, it’s like the “wah wah wahs” you hear on a Peanuts cartoon.

Then, there’s Person #2, a less obvious (but just as dangerous) threat.

The “Frenenvy”

“Oh, that’s interesting…”   “Good luck with that.”   “Geez, I’d like to help, but…..”   The Frenenvy, not to be confused with the “Frenemy”, is someone you know pretty well who is content to let your dreams and ambition essentially “lie there”.   Not a Naysayer, but yet, a person that could “infect” you with the same inertia that they are exhibiting.    It’s one of those 7 deadly sins at work – envy.   You are going places, and talking about it. Putting it out there.  And that can make people you know pretty nervous – not about you, but about themselves.  (I know, because earlier in my life I’ve been a Frenenvy).    Envy is powerful.  So yes, they stand in your way, but in this case, these persons are your friends, so “the push aside” isn’t necessarily casting them away, or ignoring them.    It’s just that they have issues to work through, so when it comes to your dreams, they just can’t be in that particular glide path.

Which leads us to Person #3, the one you’ll deal with every day (whether you want to or not):

YOU

“I’m scared” “I’m not trusting my instinct” “What if I fail?”    That voice inside your head  -it’s dangerous.   It never forgets anything, all the way back to when you messed up in Kindergarten and got called out by the teacher in front of everybody.  All those embarrassments and insecurities, buried beneath your dreams.  That’s the YOU you need to always be aware of, and the awareness itself it what will save you.   Because your instincts ARE good, and as a dreamer, you’ve already taken some of the hardest steps.    For us, it’s “coming to terms” with our fear that will keep it at arms length.  I wrote a letter to fear that really helped me, and I would encourage you to do the same thing, as crazy as it sounds.  Trust yourself,  and all of those internal barriers will fall away.

Here’s to success!!

Written by Terry Starbucker

Excuses Expose Your Lack of Self-Confidence

Like many, I’m not a fan of, and I have little patience for, excuses.  A person who is full of excuses or always ready to give an excuse is clearly someone in my opinion who lacks self-confidence.  Confident people don’t make excuses – they take on the responsibility and hold themselves accountable.

So, what are excuses? Two most common types of excuses are the excuses we tell ourselves and excuses we tell other people.  Excuses are sometimes flat out lies, at times a twist on the truth and other times, a series of justification that logically explain why something did or did not happen or get done.

Why do we tell excuses?  We tell excuses because we want to avoid the truth.  We tell excuses to make ourselves feel better.  We tell excuses because we want to protect ourselves and avoid unpleasant circumstances. We tell ourselves, we tell excuses to protect other people when in reality – all excuses are a means of self-preservation. We tell excuses because we are weak of character and lack self-confidence and the ability to take accountability for our actions and inactions.

What’s real pathetic about excuses is that people who can’t stand them, more often than not –  are guilty of telling them.

Excuses We Tell Ourselves

Common excuses we tell ourselves normally fall into these areas: I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough money, I don’t know how, it won’t matter anyway…etc. All of these types of excuses are rooted in not believing in yourself, or your abilities to create change, learn, have an impact or make a difference. A clear lack of self-confidence because as I constantly preach; confident people BELIEVE in themselves and their POTENTIAL. What you can’t do now has nothing to do with what you can do later if you believe you can and put in the hard work to achieve it.

I don’t know how becomes – I know I can learn because it’s truly important to me.

I don’t have enough time becomes – I will make the time because I know this is important and needs to be a priority.

I don’t have enough money becomes – I will figure out a way, make the money, borrow it…find it somehow or I’ll get creative and find another way.

It won’t matter becomes – Even if it doesn’t matter, it mattered to me and I will have given it my best.

If your internal dialogue is full of excuses, start building your self-confidence and those excuses will start going away.

Excuses We Tell Others

Poor, poor me, I’m full of excuses – feel bad for me, pity me. YUCK! Want respect – stop with the excuses. Got a justification why something isn’t done.  Please say so, but at the beginning of it all – take accountability for why it isn’t done.  Things out of our control happen but they should never be used to make excuses. “I’m sorry I didn’t finish the project. It’s fully my fault; I got interrupted by a fire burning down my house”. Not an excuse. Quite a good justification and the person you said that too will understand.

Don’t make excuses for your short comings. Bring light to them so you can start facing them and working on them. You start making excuses, much like lies (since they are probably lies) – it will take more excuses to cover them up. People aren’t perfect so we don’t need to make excuses for our imperfections – we need to deal with them head on.

Confident people know they aren’t perfect.  They aren’t afraid to let their weaknesses show. Our weaknesses can become our greatest strength. They certainly serve as our greatest teachers.

Use your excuses to learn about yourself. Listen to the excuses you tell yourself and you tell others. Get to the root of what those excuses are about, learn, grow and implement change.

Written byAnn Bernard

Smile & The World Smiles With You!

                                                      Smile - Just Do It!
 Raise the corners of your mouth. Soon your smile will become genuine. The smile that begins as an effort and a pretense quickly grows to become genuine, and given time, a habit of happiness. In the words of Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."


 www.how-to-self.com  Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Secrets to Ultimate Confidence When Speaking in Public

Do you worry that when you get up to speak that your voice will show obvious signs of nerves and a complete lack of public speaking confidence? Perhaps you have had experience in the past where your voice wavers and your breathing is erratic due to those nerves.

Follow this advice and you should find that you can control your nerves much better and also that your voice will sound much more confident.  You will also act and feel more confident.
 
Don't Race
Don't race to get to the podium and don't race to get to the end of your speech. Take your time and remember that you are in control.
 
Breathe In and Out
It is easy to forget that you need to breathe when your mind is preoccupied with getting ready to give your important speech. Breathe in and out before your speech as normal. Also, remember to breathe normally during your speech.
 
Make Eye Contact with your audience
When walking to the podium or when standing up ready to speak make eye contact with as many people as possible in the audience. Try to smile confidently and again don't rush anything. Remember, that it is your speech and your time. It is up to you as to how quickly or how slowly you will progress. Making eye contact with your audience allows you to connect with them and to see them as individuals. Not as one large unfriendly audience.
 
Act Confident and Be Confident
I always say that the first step to becoming confident is to simply act as though you are confident. Remember that from the audience's point of view they do not know the difference between someone who looks confident because they are confident and someone who looks confident but is actually petrified and is only acting confident. The two people will both look the same. Remember this and always try to look confident. Take a deep breath, stand with your shoulders' back, smile. Make lots of eye contact with people. Your audience will never know and in acting confident you will become confident.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lawrence_Swift