Embracing Ourselves at Fifty

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night jolted by the fact that I am now 50 years old. For a brief moment, I think it’s all just a big mistake, a cosmic joke, and that I am really still only 35.

I seem to be able to see my former selves so clearly at 3am…there I am at 22, rushing towards my first job, at 30, clueless and having my first child, and at 45, stumbling into midlife. I begin to wonder if I’ve wasted years, lost opportunities, missed beauty, missed the point, and I almost move into panic when an unexpected calm arrives and I suddenly know for certain that it’s all been grist for the mill, it’s all really been about growth.

My own growth is what I take with me into these golden years, it is the constant that I get to keep as time passes and youth fades. In the middle of the night, it becomes clear that I was right where I needed to be at each decade. I needed to be driven in my twenties to know how to relax at 50, to be surprised by the challenges of motherhood in my thirties, so that I could rise to the occasion and meet them, to wrestle with midlife so that I could learn to let go of one stage of life and enter another.

It’s so easy, here at middle age, to begin to pine for our youth, to have regrets, to think we missed the mark, to beat up on our younger selves.  While there is loss, and necessary grief for things past, maybe something bigger is also going on… maybe life is always moving us towards something and aging is that movement along a giant learning curve.

Maybe we get to learn compassion for those younger selves who were doing the best that they could and bringing us to where we are right now. Maybe 50 is a grand culmination of all of those selves who fought so hard to get here. And maybe I can wake up in the middle of the night with relief that I have made it to 50 and am not 35 anymore.

Written by Amy Ruhlin

10 Inspirational Tips to Give Yourself a Boost

Most of us can use a little push, from time to time, to help us shift our mood and lift our spirits when we’re bored, drained, and sluggish.

While your energy level might be low and you feel unmotivated, you don’t have to stay that way!

Here are some easy tips you can follow  to give yourself a boost to inspire, encourage and rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit:

1. Start a gratitude journal. Write down 5 things you are grateful for each day.  Showing appreciation for the things you already have keeps you from dwelling on lack and scarcity.
2. Try out a new hairdo – nothing perks you up like a new “do” to uplift your spirits
3. Listen to some up-tempo music – this is not the time for ballads and blues – you want inspiration, not something to put you down in the dumps.
4. Visit a walk-in salon and get a manicure, pedicure or facial to rejuvenate you.
5. Re-connect with a friend or neighbor to enjoy a cup of coffee or soothing up of tea.
6. Put on your dancing shoes – go dancing with someone who likes to dance. A salsa or Zumba class is a great activity to get you moving and at the same time have some fun.
7. Go to your local library – select a good inspirational book, sit quietly and read for an hour or borrow a comedic video to enjoy at home in your favorite chair with your feet up.
8. Take a walk around your neighborhood – Carry a camera with you as you walk around your neighborhood to capture memorable moments.  You might be pleasantly surprised at the things you miss while driving.
9. Write down your thoughts, ideas and musings in an attractive journal so you’ll have a record of all the great ideas you come up with.
10. Browse your bookshelf or magazine rack – There just might be a book or magazine there you’ve been meaning to read. Select one and immerse yourself in it for an hour.

Written by Gladys Anderson