Embracing Ourselves at Fifty

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night jolted by the fact that I am now 50 years old. For a brief moment, I think it’s all just a big mistake, a cosmic joke, and that I am really still only 35.

I seem to be able to see my former selves so clearly at 3am…there I am at 22, rushing towards my first job, at 30, clueless and having my first child, and at 45, stumbling into midlife. I begin to wonder if I’ve wasted years, lost opportunities, missed beauty, missed the point, and I almost move into panic when an unexpected calm arrives and I suddenly know for certain that it’s all been grist for the mill, it’s all really been about growth.

My own growth is what I take with me into these golden years, it is the constant that I get to keep as time passes and youth fades. In the middle of the night, it becomes clear that I was right where I needed to be at each decade. I needed to be driven in my twenties to know how to relax at 50, to be surprised by the challenges of motherhood in my thirties, so that I could rise to the occasion and meet them, to wrestle with midlife so that I could learn to let go of one stage of life and enter another.

It’s so easy, here at middle age, to begin to pine for our youth, to have regrets, to think we missed the mark, to beat up on our younger selves.  While there is loss, and necessary grief for things past, maybe something bigger is also going on… maybe life is always moving us towards something and aging is that movement along a giant learning curve.

Maybe we get to learn compassion for those younger selves who were doing the best that they could and bringing us to where we are right now. Maybe 50 is a grand culmination of all of those selves who fought so hard to get here. And maybe I can wake up in the middle of the night with relief that I have made it to 50 and am not 35 anymore.

Written by Amy Ruhlin

How To Get Liked By People

Whether we’re talking about your personal life or your career, learning how to get liked by people will open a lot of opportunities for you.

Individuals who have that magnetic personality or irresistible charm can use it to their advantage, not only to be successful socially, but also to achieve any goal they put their minds into.

If you’ve ever wondered how to win more friends, or just be more attractive and appealing to other people, here are 4 simple steps that can help you.

Step 1: Smile.

This is the oldest trick in the book, but is also the most effective. It is also by far the simplest and the easiest.

When you smile, you send positive communication signals to other people. A smile says you are friendly, open and approachable, without even using words or complicated gestures. It is a welcoming symbol.

If you really want to learn how to get liked by people, then smile genuinely as you think about their positive qualities. You will not only make people feel happy, but you will also feel better yourself.

Step 2: Be Confident.

It would be almost impossible to get liked by others unless you like yourself first. Remember that you have many good qualities - remind yourself about them every day. Make it a point to make yourself feel great.

When you boost your self-esteem and you exude self-confidence, you also inspire other people and make them want to be around you. This should not be confused with arrogance or vanity though. Use your confidence to uplift or motivate others, not put them down.

Knowing how to get liked by people starts with yourself. If you like yourself, others will see and follow suit.

Step 3: Listen.

Be sensitive and attentive to know when to keep quiet and let others do the talking. Being able to listen to what other people are saying, no matter how trivial they may seem, shows that you are a person who respects.

It shows them that you are not self-centered and self-important. You care about what they have to say, and you give the time and effort to take these into account.

When you listen, you also make others feel good about themselves; hence, they would want to spend more time in your company.

Step 4: Learn To Laugh At Your Mistakes.

Don’t overthink your flaws or take everything seriously. Don’t worry about making mistakes; in fact, being too perfect can actually backfire. Just acknowledge your follies when you make them and learn from the experience. Laugh at yourself and make others laugh too.

The most important thing to remember if you really want to know how to get liked by people is to exert the effort to make others feel better about themselves.

To find out more go to  http://tiny.cc/mbs2cw

Speak to you later

Barb Naisby
Your Mind Master

7 Ways to Deal With Frustrating Telesales People

Earlier today, I was listening to my sister talking on the phone to British Telecom. Now my sis is normally very controlled, very rational and VERY used to dealing with difficult people at work but TODAY she was totally frustrated! Why? Because the BT “Customer Service” employee was working from a script & wasn’t listening to a darn word Pam was saying to her.

So here are 7 Steps to help you deal with frustrating calls:

1) Stay calm:

The best way to deal with unresponsive sales people is to stay calm and professional. Don’t give them any opportunity to hang up on you.

2) Stay positive:

Even if they drive you insane, try to adopt a positive approach and mindset. This will help you to manage stress more effectively so you are not weighed down by their hostile attitude.

 3) Be patient:

Stay in control, let them get their scripted answers out of the way and then you’ll get your point across more easily.

4) Listen.

Listen to what they say BEFORE responding. As they talk, occasionally indicate that you are still listening. Once they’ve finished, politely ask if they would courteously listen to you now without interupting

5) Don't tolerate abuse.

If the employee is still obstructive and unhelpful, ask to speak to their supervisor as you’re obviously not going anywhere with this conversation

6) De-stress yourself:

Don't let it get to you. Treat it as a game that you WILL win because you’ve remained in control. You will feel good afterwards!

7) Remember, all calls are recorded so if you need to take this further up the ladder, you’ll come out as the good guy!
Speak to you soon

Barbara Naisby
Your Mind Master
http://www.IWantSomeSelfConfidence.blogspot.com