The Three Rules to Midlife Happiness

Rule 1: Be happy in your own Time

Some people find it hard to accept that they are growing older, they seek perpetual youth.

Some have facelifts, botox injections, boob jobs, bum lifts and other cosmetic surgery to try to keep the ravages of time at bay. This may look very attractive for a time but often ends with the person looking a parody of his or her previous self. ‘Trout pout’ anyone?

Some wear clothes that would look much better on their children (rule 1a – If you are old enough to have worn it when it was in fashion last time around, don’t wear it this time!).

Some people in midlife decide to start again with a younger partner – ‘Cougar’ women take a toyboy, midlife men might opt for a 20 something female with long legs. Whilst this might seem attractive in the short term, once the initial excitement has died down, the couple find themselves living together with little in common. They watched different TV programmes when they were children, they grew up listening to different music and they wore different styles of clothes – they come from different ‘times’ and unless they are very fortunate, they are very unlikely to feel comfortable with each other in the long term.

Rule 2: Be happy in your own Skin

We are all born with the hand of cards that we are given. Some will grow up as beautiful people, others won’t. Some will become thought leaders in their spheres, most won’t.

‘Show me the boy and I will show you the man’, a popular saying that rings very true. Most of us don’t change greatly as we get older, we play the hand that we were dealt.

Many people, though, are not happy with the cards that they were dealt and call ‘foul’. Most women (and quite a few men) are not happy with some aspects of their looks. Some go to great lengths to change their appearance. This goes far beyond trying to keep their youth (see Rule 1) and is an attempt to change their looks, to give themselves characteristics that they wished they’d been born with.

Whilst some attempts at remodelling your looks can be beneficial, particularly for self-esteem and confidence, it is important to draw the line.

A midlife crisis is often triggered by a person not being able to come to terms with living in their own skin.

Rule 3: Be happy in your own Life

Many people feel that they need to ‘fit in’, that they need to conform to a norm with which they aren’t really comfortable. Teenagers, in particular, feel that they must be part of a crowd and fall victim to peer pressure. Their friends all have tattoos, so they feel that they should have tattoos, even if they don’t like them (and will regret having them in later life, particularly if they include someone’s name!)

Midlifers are less inclined to worry about peer pressure but the ‘green-eyed monster’ of jealousy is a very real part of the life of many people in midlife. We all lead different lives and however happy we are, however well off we are, there will always be people who seem to be doing better than us. Some of them will indeed be doing better than us, either because they were dealt a better hand at birth (see Rule 2) or because they work harder than we do (often both).

The grass always seems greener in somebody else’s life. However, when the green-eyed monster rears its head, take a few moments to consider the other aspects of the person’s life – these may not be quite so rosy. Your rich friend may be doing very nicely in the big house, driving the expensive car but behind closed doors their relationship may be falling apart. Their kids might be taking drugs and mixing with the wrong ‘friends’.

Don’t try to ‘keep up with the Jones’ out of jealousy, to make yourself look better or more acceptable to your friends. You may find yourself deeply in debt if you overstretch yourself unnecessarily.

To be happy in your life, accept what you have – but don’t let that stop you from striving to achieve greatness. There is a difference between making the most of your life and trying to live your life imitating someone else.

Written by http://midlifeop.blogspot.co.uk

How To Get Liked By People

Whether we’re talking about your personal life or your career, learning how to get liked by people will open a lot of opportunities for you.

Individuals who have that magnetic personality or irresistible charm can use it to their advantage, not only to be successful socially, but also to achieve any goal they put their minds into.

If you’ve ever wondered how to win more friends, or just be more attractive and appealing to other people, here are 4 simple steps that can help you.

Step 1: Smile.

This is the oldest trick in the book, but is also the most effective. It is also by far the simplest and the easiest.

When you smile, you send positive communication signals to other people. A smile says you are friendly, open and approachable, without even using words or complicated gestures. It is a welcoming symbol.

If you really want to learn how to get liked by people, then smile genuinely as you think about their positive qualities. You will not only make people feel happy, but you will also feel better yourself.

Step 2: Be Confident.

It would be almost impossible to get liked by others unless you like yourself first. Remember that you have many good qualities - remind yourself about them every day. Make it a point to make yourself feel great.

When you boost your self-esteem and you exude self-confidence, you also inspire other people and make them want to be around you. This should not be confused with arrogance or vanity though. Use your confidence to uplift or motivate others, not put them down.

Knowing how to get liked by people starts with yourself. If you like yourself, others will see and follow suit.

Step 3: Listen.

Be sensitive and attentive to know when to keep quiet and let others do the talking. Being able to listen to what other people are saying, no matter how trivial they may seem, shows that you are a person who respects.

It shows them that you are not self-centered and self-important. You care about what they have to say, and you give the time and effort to take these into account.

When you listen, you also make others feel good about themselves; hence, they would want to spend more time in your company.

Step 4: Learn To Laugh At Your Mistakes.

Don’t overthink your flaws or take everything seriously. Don’t worry about making mistakes; in fact, being too perfect can actually backfire. Just acknowledge your follies when you make them and learn from the experience. Laugh at yourself and make others laugh too.

The most important thing to remember if you really want to know how to get liked by people is to exert the effort to make others feel better about themselves.

To find out more go to  http://tiny.cc/mbs2cw

Speak to you later

Barb Naisby
Your Mind Master

6 Ways to Make People Like You

Dale Carnegie was perhaps most famous for the courses he developed in salesmanship though he also offered courses in self-improvement, interpersonal skills and public speaking. I remember one of my colleagues taking a Dale Carnegie sales course and I think they are probably still running today.

Years ago, I saw a copy of Dale Carnegie's best-selling book How to Win Friends and Influence People being offered at a bargain price in the local bookstore. Given the significance of  this book to my chosen field (personal development), I thought I could not pass on the offer.

In the book, he talks about how he came to discover the essential secret that pervades his work and I'll tell you what it is in a moment. However, the situation was that he was attending an important meeting as a salesman and, overwhelmed at the prospect of addressing the large group, found himself unable to speak.

He wrote a short message on a piece of paper. It said, "gentlemen, I have lost my voice, I am speechless." The president of the organisation stood up and announced that he would do the talking on his behalf. Carnegie says that he then presented his products and praised their good points. All he (Carnegie) did was sit there, smile, nod and make a few encouraging gestures.

Amazingly, he got the business. But the experience made him understand the importance of letting the other person do the talking. And - yes - that's the secret, and, taken from his famous book, here are six ways you can apply it:

6 Ways to Make People Like You

1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
2: Smile.
3: Remember and use the other person's name.
4: Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

As you can see, the thing that underpins all of these points is to move the focus away from yourself and onto the other person. Of course, you don't remain silent, but when you do talk, you talk in terms of the other person and their interests. You will be amazed at how this simple shift of focus can produce the most remarkable results in terms of making friends. You don't have talk about the other person's interests in every conversation of course.

Remember the title of his book was How to Win Friends and Influence People. So remember these powerful little tips for when you want to do that.

Article written by Will Edwards

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6749435

I Like Crescendos - Thoughts on Managing Based on Vibe

I was walking a 10K yesterday and relied on my iPod to keep my going at a good pace. I have several play lists set up for exercising with peppier songs. I noticed, however, that when I was hurting or needing more uumph (it was hot and humid) that I skipped the perfectly fine peppy songs in favor of songs with big drama and fuller sound.

I like crescendos. In fact, I like crescendos in all aspects of life and work.

I would be happy doing most any type of work as long as it offered the opportunity to create some boom, some wow, some big moments.

This is the vibe I prefer in all aspects of my life and those managing me can get my best work by ensuring I have the chance to experience crescendos.

We all have a preferred vibe and it is a unique thing. Management books suggest that managers ought to get to know each employee's goals and talents. And this is important to know. But I also think we should learn the vibe that fuels their engagement.

Start by thinking about the vibe that you prefer. Then share this with your team and ask them to share theirs. Examples will help clarify what you are asking.

Think about why people leave their jobs (bad manager, I know, but there is always more to it). Often it just does not fuel them. They leave a perfectly great job for an unknown but great sounding job that they hope will feel different to them. What if you could help their current job feel better?

Post written by http://www.managementcraft.com