4 Little Steps to Greater Self-Confidence

Do you worry that a lack of self-confidence is holding you back in life? Perhaps you run a small business and you know you could get new clients by going to networking events … but you feel too shy. Maybe you want to switch careers to something different … but you know that would mean taking on something really challenging, like speaking in front of big groups.

Some people are naturally self-confident, but most of us have at least some fears and doubts at times. (And a lot of people who come across as self-confident are quaking inside!) The good news is that your self-confidence level isn’t set in stone. You can deliberately become more confident and take on new adventures.

Here are four little steps to take. As you read them, decide on one or two that you could do this week.

Step #1: Consider Times When You ARE Confident

Most people lack self-confidence in some areas of their life (perhaps their career) but they’re confident in others. Think of something that you’re always confident about. You might have to spend a few minutes on this, because it may seem something that’s “no big deal” to you.

Here are a few examples:

• Cooking a nice meal for your family / friends
• Setting up a website
• Writing an essay or article
• Taking care of children
• Going to the gym and working out

All of these are things that some people find really easy and others are terrified of doing.

Write down a few things that you’re confident about (you can pick any that apply from the list above, or come up with your own). What do they have in common? There’s a good chance that you’ve been doing them for a while – perhaps you were scared of doing something wrong when you first had kids, for instance, but now parenting is second nature.

Step #2: Remember That the First Few Times are Just Practice

When you were a kid, did you ever play group games where the first round or two were “practice”? That gave you and the others a chance to get used to the rules and the way the game worked, without worrying about being “out”.

Life is just the same! It’s really very rare that you can screw something up so badly that you cause serious damage to your career or life prospects. So next time you have to do something scary, tell yourself it’s a practice round.

Let’s say you’ve started a new business and you want to get the word out in your local area. You decide to write a press release, and it’s the first time you’ve done that. You don’t have any media contacts. You may well not feel very confident at all … but if you tell yourself this is “just practice” for when you’ve got something even bigger to announce to the world, that helps take the pressure off.

Step #3: Build Up Your Successes

The best way to grow your self-confidence is with a string of victories. That means that it’s not a great idea to fling yourself headlong into the biggest challenge you can think of. Sure, it might go fantastically well … but even if it does, you might find the whole process horribly stressful. And if it goes badly, you may feel even less confident.

Public speaking always ranks highly in people’s fears, but it’s a great skill to have. If you want to get good at public speaking, you obviously don’t need to begin by aiming to present in front of an audience of hundreds (even if that’s your eventual goal).

Your first few steps could look like this:

• Attend a Toastmaster meeting and listen to some speeches (without participating)
• Take on a small speaking task at work (e.g. presenting to a small group of colleagues in a meeting)
• Speak in front of a larger group in a voluntary context (e.g. in a local community group)

…and so on.

Each step will feel a little scary… but each time you successfully take a new step, you’ll feel more confident. You’ll know that you can do it.

Step #4: Keep Track of What You Achieve

To keep your motivation up, and to continue to grow your confidence, keep track of your achievements. That might mean listing the different steps you took, and even recording how you felt (e.g. “really nervous beforehand but great once I’d done it”).

Over time, you can see your abilities growing and your comfort zone expanding. If you write down your achievements on a monthly basis, you might find that something which terrified you in January was OK by March and actually enjoyable by June.

When you see this pattern repeating in different areas of your life – little steps gradually leading you to greater self-confidence, and greater achievements – it helps you to face new situations. Over the years, I’ve learned that I always feel timid and anxious when faced with something new, but once I get going, it becomes much easier and I feel far more confident.

 What step could you take today? Choose one idea from the list above, and tell us what you’re going to do in the comments.

Post written by Ali Luke

6 Ways to Make People Like You

Dale Carnegie was perhaps most famous for the courses he developed in salesmanship though he also offered courses in self-improvement, interpersonal skills and public speaking. I remember one of my colleagues taking a Dale Carnegie sales course and I think they are probably still running today.

Years ago, I saw a copy of Dale Carnegie's best-selling book How to Win Friends and Influence People being offered at a bargain price in the local bookstore. Given the significance of  this book to my chosen field (personal development), I thought I could not pass on the offer.

In the book, he talks about how he came to discover the essential secret that pervades his work and I'll tell you what it is in a moment. However, the situation was that he was attending an important meeting as a salesman and, overwhelmed at the prospect of addressing the large group, found himself unable to speak.

He wrote a short message on a piece of paper. It said, "gentlemen, I have lost my voice, I am speechless." The president of the organisation stood up and announced that he would do the talking on his behalf. Carnegie says that he then presented his products and praised their good points. All he (Carnegie) did was sit there, smile, nod and make a few encouraging gestures.

Amazingly, he got the business. But the experience made him understand the importance of letting the other person do the talking. And - yes - that's the secret, and, taken from his famous book, here are six ways you can apply it:

6 Ways to Make People Like You

1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
2: Smile.
3: Remember and use the other person's name.
4: Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

As you can see, the thing that underpins all of these points is to move the focus away from yourself and onto the other person. Of course, you don't remain silent, but when you do talk, you talk in terms of the other person and their interests. You will be amazed at how this simple shift of focus can produce the most remarkable results in terms of making friends. You don't have talk about the other person's interests in every conversation of course.

Remember the title of his book was How to Win Friends and Influence People. So remember these powerful little tips for when you want to do that.

Article written by Will Edwards

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6749435

18 Truths to Start Telling Yourself

This is your journey, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

Here are 18 truths to inspire, motivate and remind you that you aren’t confined by the boundaries others impose on you.  You are in full control of your own life, starting today.

1. I can only be me. – Stop trying to be someone else’s idea of perfect.  Be your imperfectly perfect self.  Be YOU.  When they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.  Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”  Live by this statement.  There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes.  The only shoes you can occupy are your own.  If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.
2. This is my life, and my dreams are worth it. – Life is a courageous journey or nothing at all.  We cannot become who we want to be by continuing to do exactly what we’ve been doing.  If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.  Be deaf when people tell you that you can’t fulfill your dreams.  The only place where your goals and dreams are impossible is inside your head.  Once you’ve dreamed of it, you’re halfway there.  So go ahead and follow through.  Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words.  Follow your heart regardless of what others tell you to do.  At the end of the day it’s you who has to live with your decisions, not them.  Read The road Less Traveled
3. Everything, good or bad, is a life lesson. – Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc. – they’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’  Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way.  If you don’t get a job that you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting.  And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it. Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.  Love yourself, trust your choices, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
4. A few REAL friends are all I need. – When it comes to relationships, focus on quality over quantity.  Spend your time with friends who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.  Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. These people make your day a little bit brighter simply by being in it.  It is better to have one true friend than all the acquaintances in the world.
5. My actions and words directly affect the lives around me. – Lead by example.  Practice what you preach or don’t preach at all.  Walk the talk!  People watch what you do more than they listen to what you say.  Inspire, challenge and encourage people to their best, by doing YOUR best.  And when someone else is doing a great job, tell them that you’re proud of them.  Encourage them.  Take the time to recognize their effort.  If they know you believe they can do great things, they will often go to great lengths to live up to your expectations.  Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.  Optimism is a happiness magnet.  If you stay positive and confident, good things and good people will be drawn to you.
6. Broken promises destroy relationships. – You make commitments to others and yourself all the time.  The question is: Do you keep them?  If you said you’re going to do something, do it!  When you fail to keep a promise, it tells others that you don’t value their time or relationship.  Don’t over-promise; under-promise and over-deliver on everything you do.  And a few words to the wise:  Never make a big decision when you’re angry, and never make a big promise when you’re overjoyed.
7. The little things are often the big things. – Keep it simple.  There is absolute joy and wonder to be had in the simplest of moments – like watching the sunset over the horizon or spending time with a family member.  Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.
8. People regret the things they did NOT do. – You miss 100% of the shots you never take.  Choices, chances and changes – start making them.  You must make a choice to take a chance, or your life will never change.  In the end, more so than the mistakes we made, we regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.
9. Small people can make a BIG difference. – Stay positive when negativity surrounds you.  Smile when others frown.  It’s an easy way to make a difference.  There are many small, simple actions you can make to profoundly impact your family, your community, and the world.  You could pick up and throw away some trash you see on the street.  Send thoughts of loving kindness, support and peace to a friend.  Find something in your house you no longer need and give to someone who could use it.  Everyone values the gift of unexpected assistance and those who supply it.  Leave everything a little better than you found it.  You’ll see why.
10. Adversity makes us strong and wise. – Pain makes you stronger.  Tears make you braver.  Heartbreak makes you wiser.  Be grateful for your past because it helped shape who you are.  And thank the past for a better future.  Live for today, learn from yesterday, and hope for tomorrow.  Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
11. Everyone deserves kindness and respect. – Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.  People will notice your kindness.
12. Everyone has something amazing to offer. – Accept people just the way they are.  In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.  Open your mind, arms and heart to all people; we are united in our differences, and stronger together because of them.
13. There’s no point in doing something if I’m not going to do it right. – I’m impressed by great guitarists, writers, bloggers, painters, motivational speakers, internet entrepreneurs, computer engineers, mothers, fathers, athletes, etc.  And there’s only one thing they all have in common: They excel at what they do.  There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right.  Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies.  Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.  Read The Four Agreements.
14. Dishonesty should never be tolerated. – Nobody likes a liar.  In the long-run, the truth always reveals itself anyway.  Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.  Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless.  Period.  Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
15. Personal growth will feel uncomfortable at first. – Growth always begins at the end of your comfort zone.  So break out of your comfort zone and try something new.  Fight the unfamiliar and enjoy the experience.  Try out that new restaurant.  Stop by the new park.  Routines stagnate us.  New experiences help us grow and they make life interesting.  Make an effort to try something new every day this week.  It can be a whole new activity or just a small experience, such as talking to a stranger.  Once you get the ball rolling, many of these new experiences will open doors to life changing opportunities.  And with a strategy of continuous small steps into new experiences, we are able to sidestep the biggest barrier to positive change:  Fear.
16. Happiness is a choice that comes from within. – Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect, it means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.  There are choices you can make every day to feel the effects of happiness.  Choose to be around the right people.  Choose to focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.  Choose a good attitude.  Choose to express gratitude.  Choose to forgive.  Choose to take care of your body.  Begin today by taking responsibility for your own happiness.  The choice is yours.  Read Stumbling On Happiness.
17. The more I invest in myself, the more control I will have over my life. – Invest time and energy in yourself every day.  When you invest in yourself, you can never lose, and over time you will change the trajectory of your life.  You are simply the product of what you know.  The more time and energy you spend acquiring pertinent knowledge, the more control you have over your life.
18. Knowledge without action accomplishes nothing. – The number one thing I persistently see holding smart people back is their own reluctance to take action with the knowledge they already have.  In other words, they believe they require additional knowledge, skill, experience, etc. before they can aptly partake in an opportunity.  Yes, more knowledge is great to have, but without action it doesn’t get you anywhere.  You’ve got to take baby steps.  You’ve got to act on what you know.  Remember, the acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing; growing happens when what you know changes how you live.

Post written by Angel

The 5 Ultimate Ways To Make People Like You

Making people like you is the first step to making long lasting relationships, and long lasting relationships are what bring you happiness and success. For this one reason I personally work on this certain idea religiously, and can quite confidently say that I have finally figured out how to make “any” person almost instantly  like me.

I have condensed all that I have learnt into 5 main points. Hope these strategies help you become a people magnet as well.

1. 1. Be Genuinely Interested in People

You can’t make people truly like you, unless you are interested in them as well. Many people claim to have made systems that you can make people like you, on the base that you can disregard the other person and reap all the rewards. Wrong.

Friendships are all about give and take. You give some and you take some. And only through an even exchange of these interactions can you build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

1. 2. Be Positive and Happy

People are attracted to happiness and positivity, just like bees are attracted to flowers. We humans just can’t get enough of it. So keeping that in mind think about this: People who have lots of friends or attract people easily are they sad or negative? Are they gloomy people? Are they depressed?

No.

People who have attractive personalities are always happy people who radiate positivity. Try to mold yourself to be that happy person people crave and people will be running after you.

1. 3. Radiate Confidence

I don’t want to dwell very deep into this because I feel this has become quite cliché but it’s true. Confidence is very attractive and people like confident people.

If you are able to build self-confidence in yourself, you will automatically hold yourself differently, you will speak differently, and you will behave differently. It’s all part of a process.

1. 4. Give People your Undivided Attention

Nowadays, nobody has spare time to give someone an exclusive conversation. You have to be different. Whenever you meet and talk with people give them your complete attention. Make eye contact, actually think about what the other person saying and give genuine answers.

The other person will pick up on this specialized effort, and in return will begin to like you.

1. 5. Relax and Enjoy

The most likeable people are those who are genuine. Don’t try to be somebody who you are not. Relax and slow down, analyze what you are doing and then do it.

Life is not always a competition, have fun, meet people, and enjoy.

Osman Hameed writes about self-improvement and shares effective tips for living better life on his website www.codeofliving.com. CodeofLiving is a juicy mix of tips, tutorials and articles that are guaranteed to make your life bette

I Am Me

I am me

I am not you. I don’t walk like you, I don’t talk like you, I don’t draw like you, I don’t write like you. I walk, talk, draw and write like me, because I am not you – I am me.

I am not you. I can’t sing like you, I can’t dance like you, I can’t laugh like you, I can’t dream like you. I sing, dance, laugh and dream like me, because I am not you – I am me.

I am not you. I don’t dress like you, I don’t smell like you, I don’t hear like you, I don’t see like you. I dress, smell, hear and see like me, because I am not you – I am me.

I am me. I might be big, small, short, tall, young, old, hairy or bald. I might be loud or quiet, sensible or silly. I might be some of these things or all of these things, be it past, present or future. I might be healthy, I might be sick, I might be slow, I might be quick – whatever I choose to be – and whenever I choose to be it – I am me.

I am not you – I am me.

You are not me – you are you.

I am me. You are you.

I know you are you and I know I am me. I know I am not you because I know I am me. You are different to me and that’s how it should be as you are you and I am me.

That’s how it should be – I am me.

I am me. I am me. I am me. You are you and I am me.

Congratulations on being you.

I am me. 

Written by Paul  http://www.mindmapinspiration.com

Be Your Own Fan Be Your Own Fan

It is the Monday after the Superbowl.  While scanning the TV stations and flipping through the radio channels this morning, it seemed as though everyone was discussing and analyzing (and analyzing and analyzing…) the football game.  Everyone is a Monday morning quarterback.

Come on, get a life!  Stop living your life through someone else.

Tom Brady does not care about your life.  Why should you invest so much emotional energy in studying his?

Instead of being a fan of someone else’s life, be a fan of your own life.

Be a Monday morning quarterback on what worked and what didn’t work last week…for your business.  Study your statistics to decide if you are moving in the right direction.  Invest in you and your greatness.

I invest my money in me: my education, the development of my business, the hiring of the right talent, personal development, etc.  I rarely invest my money in what others are doing.  In fact, I almost never buy stocks.  If I invest in me and my business, I am confident that in the long run I will have a higher return on my investment.

Start investing time, money and emotional energy in you and your business.

Don’t get me wrong.  I enjoy watching the New England Patriots (even when they lose).  It is entertaining and inspiring.  Their drive and determination always jazzes me up and has me perform better in my life.

But I would not call myself a fan of any sports team.

I prefer to be fanatical about my life; doing what I can to make it as amazing as possible.

[end of rant

Written by Steve Shapiro      http://www.steveshapiro.com/

What New Challenge Are You going to Take This Year?

If you want to grow, you need to expand your personal capacity. I already wrote about itbefore, but I think it’s necessary to touch on this topic again. It’s an important topic that deserves constant reminder.

Expanding your personal capacity is essential for your personal growth. It will take you the next level in life. It will make you a better person. For that, what you need to do is taking a new challenge. You should move out of your comfort zone and do something that stretches your skills and abilities. It’s inconvenient, but that’s the way to grow.

So here is my question to you: 
What new challenge are you going to take this year?

We still have eleven months in 2012 which is enough to work on a new challenge. Don’t waste them by just doing what you always do. Do something that will take you to the next level in life.

To help you choose a new challenge to take, here are a few ideas:

• Take an online course
  Is there a subject you are fascinated about and want to study if you had time? Well, this year might be the time for you. There are a lot of courses available on iTunes U that you can choose from, not to mention other sources like YouTube. There is even a new breed of interactive courses that will give you assignments and give you feedback (here are some examples). With so many options available, I’m sure you can find something on the subject you are interested in.
• Start a side business
  Perhaps you already have an idea for a side business. It could come from your hobby or from a specific need that you come across. Why don’t you make it a reality this year?  Having a side business is a good way to expand your capacity because it will teach you a lot in the process. Plus, it could give you an extra cushion in this uncertain economic times.
• Start a blog
  Today everyone can express his or her thoughts through a blog. You are no longer limited to just being a consumer of information. If you have a subject you are passionate about, it’s a good idea to start a blog on it. You will learn a lot more by writing about it, plus you will meet interesting people along the way.

One word of caution: don’t expect instant success if you decided to build something. It takes time to build something, so don’t get discouraged if your blog didn’t attract many readers or your business didn’t give you enough revenue in the beginning. Remember, your goal here is to expand your personal capacity.

Those are just a few ideas from me. I’m sure you have a lot more ideas on how to expand one’s capacity. I’d like to hear from you, so feel free to share them in the comments.

Post written bywww.lifeoptimizer.org