How To Get Liked By People

Whether we’re talking about your personal life or your career, learning how to get liked by people will open a lot of opportunities for you.

Individuals who have that magnetic personality or irresistible charm can use it to their advantage, not only to be successful socially, but also to achieve any goal they put their minds into.

If you’ve ever wondered how to win more friends, or just be more attractive and appealing to other people, here are 4 simple steps that can help you.

Step 1: Smile.

This is the oldest trick in the book, but is also the most effective. It is also by far the simplest and the easiest.

When you smile, you send positive communication signals to other people. A smile says you are friendly, open and approachable, without even using words or complicated gestures. It is a welcoming symbol.

If you really want to learn how to get liked by people, then smile genuinely as you think about their positive qualities. You will not only make people feel happy, but you will also feel better yourself.

Step 2: Be Confident.

It would be almost impossible to get liked by others unless you like yourself first. Remember that you have many good qualities - remind yourself about them every day. Make it a point to make yourself feel great.

When you boost your self-esteem and you exude self-confidence, you also inspire other people and make them want to be around you. This should not be confused with arrogance or vanity though. Use your confidence to uplift or motivate others, not put them down.

Knowing how to get liked by people starts with yourself. If you like yourself, others will see and follow suit.

Step 3: Listen.

Be sensitive and attentive to know when to keep quiet and let others do the talking. Being able to listen to what other people are saying, no matter how trivial they may seem, shows that you are a person who respects.

It shows them that you are not self-centered and self-important. You care about what they have to say, and you give the time and effort to take these into account.

When you listen, you also make others feel good about themselves; hence, they would want to spend more time in your company.

Step 4: Learn To Laugh At Your Mistakes.

Don’t overthink your flaws or take everything seriously. Don’t worry about making mistakes; in fact, being too perfect can actually backfire. Just acknowledge your follies when you make them and learn from the experience. Laugh at yourself and make others laugh too.

The most important thing to remember if you really want to know how to get liked by people is to exert the effort to make others feel better about themselves.

To find out more go to  http://tiny.cc/mbs2cw

Speak to you later

Barb Naisby
Your Mind Master

Two Ways To Empty Your “To-Do” Plate

Research shows that a person at any given time has more than 300 hours of things to do. Books you want to read, projects you want to start or finish, favors to others, etc. As the list of things to-do grows, so does the feeling of being behind.  Even if you are currently working on things that are important, the amount of unfinished business far outweighs what you accomplish. To prevent this unbalance, there needs to be a shift!

You need to work on the right things at the right time. Only accept projects into your plate that are appropriate for the moment. I once had on my to-read plate,  a triathlon binder full of information about becoming a better triathlete. The problem? I wasn’t planning on doing a tri for another year. It was not right for me at that time. With this criteria in mind, select the things on your plate that are not the right things for right now and push it off your plate. This way, the amount of things to do will decrease as well as the feeling of always trying to catch up.

The proactive NO. Saying NO can become a challenge when you need to give an answer on the spot. When you are cornered, saying yes it’s just easier than saying no. To make sure you have an exit strategy, be proactive with your NO. Know in advanced the things you don’t want to do. For example, I don’t want to be part of the Happy Hour Queens in my town because they meet on Mondays and I don’t enjoy staying late during the week. When they ask me to join, my response is “I’m sorry, I don’t go out during the week”. If I didn’t know this in advanced, I probably would say yes, and then regret it.

Creating these two strategies to limit the amount of things you give yourself to accomplish can be the start of a brand new day for you. Remember, you are solely responsible for what you take on, so don’t take more than you have to.

Written by Araceli Gonzalez

Who Do You Talk To?

Who do you talk to?

confidants, a photo by mattry117 on Flickr.

Who do you talk to when you want unvarnished, unpackaged, unedited feedback?  Where do you go when you want to think out loud about a solution to a problem, or your latest secret project?  Do you have a mentor?  Do you have a confidant - other than Fido the dog or Boots the cat?

Choosing not to go it alone
News flash - sometimes, perhaps most of the times, you won't know the absolute best answer.  No matter how smart you are, how experienced, or how well educated, some things are outside the boundaries of black and white, yes or no, good or bad.  You might not have enough information, or you might not have had the opportunity to be in this spot before - so you don't know without a doubt your best course of action.

Some people keep it in and try to figure it out on their own because they think they should.  Sometimes they don't want to talk about it because they think it will make them look bad not to be in complete mastery of their current situation.  And sometimes they don't know who to talk to about their concerns - they think they need an expert and don't know where to find one.

Reciprocal vs. non-reciprocal relationships
When you talk to a friend, you talk about your stuff and they talk about theirs.  Depending upon your temperament and that of your friend or significant other, one of you probably has the floor more than the other. You can't spew on about your issues without taking time to listen to theirs too - the back and forth of the interaction is what creates and reinforces the peer-to-peer relationship.

Sometimes your significant others can't help you with what's bothering you other than to empathize with your feelings about the matter.  They might not have the information or experience that you need to draw upon.  And sometimes your issue is such that it creates tension between you and them. You might be so engrossed in your work or your problem and airing it so often that they don't want to hear it any more.

A coach can be a help to you if you are looking for a sounding board and mentor.  You don't have to reciprocate by listening to the coach's issues.  It's all about you.  A coach isn't emotionally involved in the issues at hand, so they can provide feedback, recommendations - or even just listen - and you don't have to worry about whether your relationship will be damaged if you make a particular choice or decision.

Talking vs. doing
Whether you talk to a friend, a spouse, a parent, or a coach - there can be a chasm between word and deed.  If you are full of good intentions but slow to act upon them, who will check up on you or hold you accountable to follow through on whatever you say you want?  The ultimate purpose of communication is to affect someone's behavior.  Sure, it can be helpful to air grievances or brag for a minute.  But the proof of intention is in the follow-through to action, and the results that come after that.  If you're not going to do anything differently as a result, does it really matter who you talk to?  Maybe Fido or Boots will serve your purpose just fine.

Written by Julie Poland

Here's How To Jump Start Your Monday!

Today’s Productivity Tip: How to Get Started When You’re Feeling Stuck

Today’s tip: Do the Next Thing

Starting a busy week can leave you almost paralyzed and not knowing where to begin. There’s only one surefire way to get yourself moving forward and conquer that mountain of tasks:

Try This:

Whenever those overwhelming feelings take hold, here’s your answer: Just do the next thing. Yes it sounds incredibly simple, but when your mind is cluttered with a multitude of tasks and concerns you need a narrow focus of energy.

Here’s how:

1) Close your eyes and visualize the most important task in front of you

2) Write this task down in your daily planner or a notebook

3) List the first physical step you must take to get started, make it an achievable activity

Some examples:

• Clean off the top of your desk
• Sort your inbox
• Review yesterday’s notes
• Return an email or phone call

 4) Do it!

5) Do the next thing — carry the momentum into the next logical step

Here’s Why:

Crossing that first item off your list gives you a tremendous sense of achievement. It’s a real motivational push that sets in motion the process of getting stuff done. Remember: You can’t get anything accomplished until you accomplish that first task. Get it done. Then, move on and conquer things one-by-one. You’ll be amazed how quickly your stress level will dissipate. Go have a productive week by narrowing your focus to one task at a time!

Written by Jeff Doubek at Daytimer.com

6 Ways to Make People Like You

Dale Carnegie was perhaps most famous for the courses he developed in salesmanship though he also offered courses in self-improvement, interpersonal skills and public speaking. I remember one of my colleagues taking a Dale Carnegie sales course and I think they are probably still running today.

Years ago, I saw a copy of Dale Carnegie's best-selling book How to Win Friends and Influence People being offered at a bargain price in the local bookstore. Given the significance of  this book to my chosen field (personal development), I thought I could not pass on the offer.

In the book, he talks about how he came to discover the essential secret that pervades his work and I'll tell you what it is in a moment. However, the situation was that he was attending an important meeting as a salesman and, overwhelmed at the prospect of addressing the large group, found himself unable to speak.

He wrote a short message on a piece of paper. It said, "gentlemen, I have lost my voice, I am speechless." The president of the organisation stood up and announced that he would do the talking on his behalf. Carnegie says that he then presented his products and praised their good points. All he (Carnegie) did was sit there, smile, nod and make a few encouraging gestures.

Amazingly, he got the business. But the experience made him understand the importance of letting the other person do the talking. And - yes - that's the secret, and, taken from his famous book, here are six ways you can apply it:

6 Ways to Make People Like You

1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
2: Smile.
3: Remember and use the other person's name.
4: Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

As you can see, the thing that underpins all of these points is to move the focus away from yourself and onto the other person. Of course, you don't remain silent, but when you do talk, you talk in terms of the other person and their interests. You will be amazed at how this simple shift of focus can produce the most remarkable results in terms of making friends. You don't have talk about the other person's interests in every conversation of course.

Remember the title of his book was How to Win Friends and Influence People. So remember these powerful little tips for when you want to do that.

Article written by Will Edwards

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6749435

I Like Crescendos - Thoughts on Managing Based on Vibe

I was walking a 10K yesterday and relied on my iPod to keep my going at a good pace. I have several play lists set up for exercising with peppier songs. I noticed, however, that when I was hurting or needing more uumph (it was hot and humid) that I skipped the perfectly fine peppy songs in favor of songs with big drama and fuller sound.

I like crescendos. In fact, I like crescendos in all aspects of life and work.

I would be happy doing most any type of work as long as it offered the opportunity to create some boom, some wow, some big moments.

This is the vibe I prefer in all aspects of my life and those managing me can get my best work by ensuring I have the chance to experience crescendos.

We all have a preferred vibe and it is a unique thing. Management books suggest that managers ought to get to know each employee's goals and talents. And this is important to know. But I also think we should learn the vibe that fuels their engagement.

Start by thinking about the vibe that you prefer. Then share this with your team and ask them to share theirs. Examples will help clarify what you are asking.

Think about why people leave their jobs (bad manager, I know, but there is always more to it). Often it just does not fuel them. They leave a perfectly great job for an unknown but great sounding job that they hope will feel different to them. What if you could help their current job feel better?

Post written by http://www.managementcraft.com

The 7 Failures That Will Make You a Better Leader

“Success Covers a Multitude of Blunders”.

That was a famous quote from George Bernard Shaw, and it has always stuck with me throughout my career as a leader and executive.

What it ultimately told me was yes, I was going to fail – multiple times. But if I was truly determined to overcome, or “cover” them, I absolutely needed to learn from every failure, and leverage that accumulated learning into success.

In so many ways, I’ve grown to appreciate my failures – as counterintuitive as that may seem.    Because I now know if I just let them go, without reflection, then they were doomed to be repeated.

There are 7 failures that I believe bring the best improvement opportunities:

• Failure to Prioritize – Many a bad decision has come from our lack of perspective on the importance of one thing over another. The key learning here is to fully grasp the concept of “opportunity cost” – the cost of NOT doing something in favor of something else.
• Failure to Decide – If the buck is going to stop with us, then we need the courage to make timely decisions, regardless of consensus or the lack of 100% of the information needed to make them.  We learn that more often than not, it’s better to “do something” then let fear and inertia overtake us.
• Failure to Progress – When a target is reached, the bar must be raised. And when that target is hit, it must be raised again. And again.  Complacency is a state that HAS to be avoided, at all costs, and the ultimate learning here is that continuous improvement is an essential focus of any enterprise.
• Failure to Praise – Great talent needs to be nurtured and retained, in a manner that goes well beyond the paychecks and bonuses.    These lessons come hard, after the loss of individuals who felt unappreciated and undervalued.  We learn that humans need to hear those simple words – “You did a great job”.
• Failure to Trust – When first taking on a leadership role, there’s always a strong “pull” to be involved in every decision, or to want to “sign off” on literally every dollar spent or contract signed.  Until we learn that trust is an essential part of great leadership, we are doomed to overwork and a huge misapplication of time and talent.
• Failure to Mediate – Every organization will have conflicts, whether it is person to person, or department to department.  Successful leaders learn that stepping into the breach to resolve them, rather than standing back or ignoring them, can avoid even bigger problems down the road, and build influence throughout an organization.
• Failure to Fire – Nobody likes to fire anybody.   It’s one of the toughest things a leader will ever do.  But when you know in your gut it’s time to cut the cord, cut it.  Don’t wait.  Your gut will usually be right.  The failures here are a lesson to the heart – it can’t get in the way of these decisions (but it certainly can come into play in the manner in which it is handled).

Remember this lesson from the baseball diamond:  You don’t have to bat 1,000% to be successful, but when you swing and miss, get out of the box, think, and then learn before you step back in and hit that home run.

Lead well!

Post written by Terry Starbucker